seriously. it does not matter what they think. i have to remind myself every single day “focus on your own shit”. it’s so hard to get lost in the world around us, especially social media in which it seems Alice in Wonderland all the freaking time.
it’s not like that. life can be a bitch and life can be hard. don’t compare your inside with the stuff people share online, their ‘outside’.
and for me, it’s not only the poison of comparing but also the “what will they think” that is constantly very very loud in my head. although i usually try to ‘fight’ it. go my own way. dance when i want to dance in public, ESPECIALLY when my kids (mostly Sanne, because Ruben just doesn’t give a f*ck either) are sooo embarrassed. make decisions that feel good to me, without thinking too long about ‘what will they think’.
but that is easier said than done, that’s for sure! how does one simply “don’t give a f*ck”…? i think that’s a process of trial and error. years and years of learning. realizing you have one freaking life, and WHY ON EARTH would you want to live it according to other people’s standards…. are THEY living your life? are they walking your path in your shoes? NOPE. not even close probably!
when i think about my journey and if i would have given a f*ck when people told me 19 years ago that it might not be the best decision to start my own business, i would not be here where i am now, today. i have a very succesful company with 11 employees. for the past 2 years that company (Artifex Support / Artifex Service) has grown rapidly due to some decisions i made, which, again, was told by ‘them’ that it will not work. and i’m here, proving otherwise.
for the last 4 years my company has been led by Judith, my Manager. she thinks like me, knows exactly how i want to run my company what works, and what’s most important. i give her total freedom in her decisions knowing she has my back. she feels this enormous freedom as respect and total faith in her capabilities.
in 2017, Arjan and i bought our dream house. of course the ‘what would they think’ was having a big raving party in my head. because uhm, yes, how dare i buy that big house?!
because, yes, it’s a big house (and we even rebuild it for MORE space!), it has a huge garden, AND we realized a special big studio for me. with doors to that big garden. with a view. and french doors. and my oh my, what would they think?!
but if i would have given a f*ck about all those other people opinions, i would NOT be here living the life i love, right now. i would probably still be working as a secretary (which is totally perfect if that is what your dream is!), and would have dreamt ‘what if….’.
and since Artifex Support only takes up like 2 mornings a week for me with meeting Judith and talking things through, i have all the other time to work on MY other dream, being an fulltime artist, creating online mixed media / art journaling classes, filling up my YouTube channel with lots of amazing and inspiring video’s. and allllll those other eclasses i have already made in my head, waiting to show you!
SO OPEN YOUR EYES. it seriously seriously seriously DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THEY THINK. if you DO or DON’T, they will think something of it, period. and because they are simply not YOU. it matters what YOU think is the best for YOU. at the end of your life, you think back and you seriously would not want to see “wow, did i please everybody but me, or what?!”